dead stars

tim burton in wonderland?!

2008-07-24T08:44:58Z

tim burton is making his own version of alice in wonderland?!?

only one of my favorite directors and my favorite books evar!

hooray!

in other news, i need a new wardrobe.

just like what sarah (or y'know, ben gibbard) said...

2008-07-06T16:43:29Z

love is watching someone die

foiled plans + aching hearts = bleurgh

2008-06-27T16:34:20Z

so here's the deal.

i was supposed to leave for new york last saturday for my summer courses on literature and on education, but then mama (my lola) took a turn for the worse and so i had to postpone it.

monday morning, i left for new york. i fixed my NYU stuff, i checked out my dorm, i opened a bank account, i was about to get a local mobile phone, and i was able to hang out with some friends.

wednesday night, i got a call from my mom that mama is in critical condition, she couldn't recognize family anymore, and i have to go home right away. like in 12 hours. i rushed to be able to get a refund from NYU, and to entrust whatever else i need to fix to my dad.

thursday morning (ny time), i got on a plane back home, and friday night (manila time), i arrived.

my immune system's shot, and my heart is aching in the non-medical way.

we all hurt in our own ways, i guess.

state of the liver address

2008-05-26T15:05:18Z

so, my liver's failing me.

it started this wednesday, a couple of days after i got back, in chili's with my girlfriends drinking bottomless strawberry margaritas to catch up. i only downed 3 mugs, and i stopped cos i was already getting woozy and certain working people need to go to the office the next day (hahaha).

i woke up thursday morning with a hangover like no other. projectile puking, anyone? hahaha. i tried to eat corned beef pandesal to try to absorb the alcohol in my system, but it was too late, and it wasn't pretty. (trust me. never eat corned beef when nauseous) so i wasn't able to eat the whole day, nor drink (cos apparently, my stomach couldn't stomach even WATER!) by 11pm i was already giving up on my life when the ER doctor (who actually looks like george clooney -- according to pammy) suddenly appeared in my room, armed with an IV to keep me dehydrated and alive through the night. then he asked to get a liver function test just to be on the safe side.

the next day around noon, i was finally off the IV, but still couldn't eat. the liver function test showed that my sgpt (some sorta liver enzyme) was 270+. the normal range is up to 30!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW THE HELL IS THAT POSSIBLE?! so they took blood from me again to test it.

that night, the test came back, and my liver enzymes shot up to 750++. that's like 25x higher than normal!!! hahaha my liver's dyiiiing. my tita ultrasounded me (is that a word?!), and my liver is FATTY. well, i guess, ok lang na fatty dun, at least natatago. hahaha. but there. i can't drink alcohol at all. the good news is there weren't any lesions or whatever, so that means i don't have cirrhosis nor hepatitis.

they don't know what's wrong with me yet, so i have an appointment with some liver doctor tomorrow. i don't really get it. I DON'T DRINK THAT MUCH. maybe it's from drinking too much antibiotics? that's what i get from being a sickly girl. take medicine for one organ, destroy another. so i *did* binge drink while on antibiotics, but i don't know if that can seriously damage your liver that much. it's crazy.

imagine being in boracay for 3 days and not being able to drink. i had to use up all my will power to just drink coke light while everyone else was enjoying nigi's happy hour. :( :(

so i pray that everyone's liver is GREEAAAAT and will continue to be great for at least the rest of our young lives. i've never appreciated my liver until now. it is an awesome chunk of internal organ that we take for granted!!! let's love it forever! take liveraide! or whatever! just preserve it while you still have it!!!

in the meantime, no alcohol for me. until i find out what's wrong, and then hopefully they can cure it. the liver regenerates, anyway, so LET'S GO LIVER REGENERATE NOW!!!

haaaaappy!

2008-05-26T14:27:35Z

haaaaaaappyyyy!!!

yun lang!

happy happy happy!

hahahaha! :D

3 things

2008-05-20T17:16:22Z

tonight, i can confidently say that there are 3 things i believe in.

1. that you are very very blessed if you can count your true friends with more than one hand.

2. that God has really really blessed me and i am very thankful for that.

3. i am flippin drunk like hell right now

oh and because i feel like it, there's a fourth:

4. love is the greatest thing that ever happened to me and... HELLS YEAAAAH THANK GOD IT HAPPENED. :D

real madrid - fc barcelona game!

2008-05-08T00:00:19Z

this is the post where i will pretend that i know things about futbol!

we watched the real madrid - fc barcelona game a few hours ago and it was AWESOOOOOME! the bernabeu stadium was jam-packed and the streets leading there were pandemonium.

we were there pretty early, around 830 to beat the crowd, but A LOOOOT of people were already there. we were just staying in this one part, waiting for the gates to open, when suddenly the crowd went ecstatic. apparently, we were in the area where the madrid players bus was supposed to pass. hahaha.

tangena ang gulo ang saya. i'll upload the video when i can... muntik pa akong masagasaan ng mga kabayo ng mga pulis. hahaha. tapos nag-wave samin yung mga players na nasa bus. bakit ang g-guapo ng mga futbol players?!?!

anyway, madrid beat barcelona 4-1. raul scored the first goal, then guti, then higuain then van nistelrooy. nagpahabol nalang si henry sa last part to give barca 1 goal. (i only learned about these players through my brother ahahahaha i am ignorant.)

SOBRANG SAYA, TALO ATENEO-LA SALLE GAMES!

MADRID CAMPEONES, OLE, OLE, OLE!

ps: they have a player named gago. hahaha. gago.

barcelona bonanza

2008-05-05T18:28:38Z

i love barcelona!

there's culture, the beach, the city, art, and good food meshed in one catalunyan masterpiece! well, i'm not too crazy about their beach here cos it's man-made and they have to maintain in every year, but i'm not complaining.

they have the best street art here! because we're always walking in different cities, i began to take a liking to street art (or yes, graffiti). their canvas is the city, it can't get bigger than that. i'm loving all the spray paint, stencils and stickers. galing galing. bakit kaya yung graffiti sa manila ang pangit? tapos tatakpan ng "mmda art" ahahahahaha

oh, and i fell in love with this american tour guide who looks like casey affleck. hahahaha. we were supposed to go swimming today but he woke up late and it was cloudy. :( it's over, our one-day, one-way segway love. hahahaha. well, have a nice life cutiieeee. ahahaha. tangina sayang. he wants to work in the rainforest pa. how cool is that? huhuhu hahaha jologs

yun lang. i went to see parc guell, gaudi's casa and the sagrada familia today. then i went shopping in las ramblas. i'm pretty bummed that we're leaving for madrid tomorrow, there's still so much to see and do here in barcelona. i love this place! i'm gonna work here someday as a tour guide or graffiti artist or a doctor or something! hahaha

italy so far

2008-05-02T17:49:40Z

it's been awesome so far, we've been to venice, florence and we're leaving rome tomorrow for barcelona. italy's bursting with art and life and you've gotta love it. what other country has ancient ruins that's like a 5 minute walk away from a street lined with designer shops? haha.

been having art/history/culture overload the past few days, bouncing from one attraction to another. i loved michaelangelo's david in the academia in florence. suuuuper laki niya. pati etits. ahahahahahahaha. but seriously, i was dumbfounded. sayang lang we weren't able to go to the uffizi (?) gallery to see the birth of venus (hindi live, weirdo. painting. harhar), it was fully booked already. i got a fever pa when we were there. a fever you can't sweat out!

on a completely unrelated matter, i just finished invisible monsters by palahniuk, and tangena, aside from his other books, pati pala yon super nagawan ng lyrics ng panic at the disco? hindi ba siya nagagalit nun? or flattered ba siya? isn't that like glorified plagiarism, if there's such a thing?

anyway. in ONE DAY rome, we saw the vatican, the vittorio museum, sta sabina peekhole, the coliseum, the trevi fountain, sta maria majora church, the triton fountain, and some other places i don't even remember anymore. hahahaha. ANDAMI!

rome wasn't built in a day, so why go around it in just one?!?! myghed.

went to the villa borghese a while ago, they collected awesome art. i loved loved loved bernini's (parang bellinis. sheeet sarap) apollo and daphne. also his david. super galing shit sana artist ako. huhuhu.

and as if having lots of art and culture isn't enough, italy is loaded with the hottest men in the planet! MAMA MIA!!! YUMMIER THAN PASTA WITH RICE! AHAHAHAHA. andami nila. tengksged to ged.

and that's all, my pumilee iz the most important fersonz in my looif. tenchu.

musee d'orsay on strike!

2008-04-18T09:09:17Z

just my luck, my favorite museum of all time is closed due to a strike so you can only go to the first floor, where all the sculptures are. van gogh, monet, manet, degas and the rest are being held captive! strikes aren't supposed to happen when art is involved! noooo. :(

it's really cold here now, specially when it's drizzling. it doesn't help that we had a night segway tour around the city. we were wearing neon vests that screams TOURIST! but i don't really care. i realized that i don't really care being seen as a tourist, cos really, that's what i am, so what the heck. i've got plenty of time to do the "local stuff" anyway. oo na, cool na kayo kasi di kayo tourist tapos pa-nonchalant lang. hahaha. whatevzzzz.

paris is always always stunning, even after three visits it will still strike you as one of the most (if not the most) beautiful cities in the world. it's AAAAWESOME (for lack of a better word), and will turn you into a wide-eyed tourist every flippin time.

and random celeb spotting: we saw cheche lazaro in the odeon subway stop. hahaha. kinawayan ko at nag-smile siya. kababayan! choz.

BUMA-BRYAN BOY! HAHAHA. woohoo!

segway at night in the rain, looking all touristy. ka-vest namin yung mga basurero sa paris. winneeer!

hi, i'm a tropical third world girl!

2008-04-13T14:31:43Z

i hate freezing places. it's so difficult to pack clothes for a place that's colder than your frigidaire (hahaha) when most of the clothes you have are suited for the hot and humid tropical weather.

i think that somehow when i go to a country that requires a coat everytime i walk out the door, i lose all fashion sense... i transform into this frumpy baduy old lady who needs to reach a warm destination (aka indoors, anywhere!) as soon as possible, else her joints start acting up! don't hate me cos i prefer bikinis to overcoats and flip-flops to boots. most boots aren't made for walking, anyway, and no way am i gonna wear uggs to europe lest they stone me to death. damnit, it's supposed to be spring already, why is it still cold there?! guys, let's start saving the earth! our climate's going haywire!

i really really don't like the cold. i will miss the warmth... your warmth. ahahaha

experience the warmth!

because adi says even the devil sings about hope:

2008-04-04T23:58:00Z

here's one of the songs i've been listening to a lot lately. it makes me happy! hahaha. everyone should be happy, hopeful at the very least! (even south park's devil is!)

"let's dance to joy division"
the wombats

I'm back in Liverpool
and everything seems the same
but I worked something out last night
that changed this little boy's brain
a small piece of advice that took 22 years in the make
and i will break it for you now
please learn from my mistakes
please learn from my mistakes

let's dance to joy division
and celebrate the irony
everything is going wrong
but we're so happy

let's dance to joy division
and raise our glass to the ceiling
'cos this could all go so wrong
but we're just so happy
yeah, we're so happy

so if you're ever feeling down
grab your purse and take a taxi
to the darkest side of town
that's where we'll be
and we will wait for you
and lead you through the dancefloor
up to the dj booth
you know what to ask for
you know what to ask for

go ask for joy division
and celebrate the irony
everything is going wrong
but we're so happy

go ask for joy divison
and raise your glass to the ceiling
cos this could all go so wrong
but we're so happy
so happy

so let the love tear us apart
I found the cure for a broken heart
let it tear us apart

let the love tear us apart
I found the cure for a broken heart
let it tear us apart

let's dance to joy division
and celebrate the irony
everything is going wrong
but we're so happy

let's dance to joy division
and raise our glass to the ceiling
cos this could all go so wrong
but we're so happy
yeah, we're so happy

so happy, yeah, we're so happy

excuse the geekiness...

2008-03-27T10:20:18Z

but... WOOHOOOOO!!!

we won best thesis, best presenter and 2nd place for best poster for the FLIPPIN BIOCHEMISTRY THESIS PRESENTATIOOOON!!!

gaaaaaaah FINALLY I FLIPPIN KICKED YOUR ASS, BIOCHEM! after grueling months of work! bwahahaha!

TAKE THAT, MED SCHOOL!!!!!

yun lang.

back to studying for my finals. hahaha. frick.

maroon (isa, dalawa, tatlo, apat) FIVE!

2008-03-06T03:09:20Z

cos my mom's real cool, i was able to watch maroon five last night... and in such good company too! there was heart and echo, regine velasquez and ogie alcasid, and BITOY! (may dala pa siyang SLR... photographer! haha)

i think everyone would agree with me that adam levine is one of the most gorgeous men in the face of the planet... although he does have a freakishly high speaking voice. he said it was one of the best concerts they've ever had (which i'm sure he says at every major gig.)

the concert was pretty good, though veeery short. :( i'm disappointed that they didn't play the songs i wanted them to play (i called adam the night before to remind him to play the songs i wanted, but he didn't... hahaha) they didn't play "nothing lasts forever", "infatuation", "must get out" and "goodnight, goodnight". i bet they would play that as their last song pa naman. tsk. instead they played some other song that didn't really create much of an impact (at least for me).

even if you went a bit yabang with your guitar playing skills, ADAM, I LOVE YOU. hahaha.

he learned tagalog words too. "isa, dalawa, tatlo, apat"

and "mahal kita"

shit adam, mamahalin kita. maging sino ka man.

well worth not studying for my test today. :P

rainy days grow on you don't they?

2008-03-02T12:54:13Z

there's nothing better than playing frisbee when it's raining like hell. wet t-shirt contest? haha

sunken garden is growing on me again, i forgive you na for injuring me you stoopid field. :P

i'm in love with your puddles! hahaha

squish squish.

well, there might be something better than playing frisbee when it's raining like hell... driving home when it's raining like hell, with the streets glistening while listening to kings of convenience!

~*emotional 2007*~

hahahahahaha olats

ang saya today! yay! issa, sali ka na sa team ah? game na yan game na yan! wooooohoooo

here we go with the starwars fiction! (inspired by the flippin crab nebula. haha.)

2008-02-20T17:18:55Z

“This is the mess that is left when stars explode,”
(this is the mess that was left when you left me.)

it was a huge, gaping wound in the middle of the expanse; a burst of light, stardust, and other particles that are neither here nor there. Once a dense body of mass, it was reduced to a web of illumination, with nothing in particular to illuminate, capturing many onlookers with the myriad of directions (or lack of it) it took.

(This was the mess that was left when you left me. A huge gaping wound in the middle of this expanse. A muddle of heaviness, confusion and other pseudo-relationships that are neither here nor there. Once a light that only shone for you shattered into filaments of stray lights that have no particular direction, strobing randomly, a spectacle to anyone who’d pay the slightest glance.)

In the midst of chaos is a constant. Born from the mess the supernova left is a core with the gravity of the sun. A pulsar, a rotating neutron star whose radiation pulses can be observed with immense regularity – pulsating with the accuracy of an atomic clock.

(In the midst of chaos is inconsistence. Born from the mess that you left when you left me that day is a core with the gravity of flawed timepieces. Two watches that never tell the same time; two watches that refuse to beat as one. Pulsating with impulses of a ruptured heart that only wants to lead back to you.)

oh noes!!!

2008-02-14T16:28:09Z

i've been watching the third season of house these past few days to "inspire" me to study for midterms... (which failed miserably cos i ended up watching episode after episode after episooode!).

and i realized that NONE OF THEM HAVE LOVE LIVES!!!

what if i grow up to be like dr. cuddy, medical director and super smart and all but will need artificial insemination to get pregnant?!?!?

OH NOES!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

happy valentines daaaay folks!

i love you, snell's comparative anatomy, i know it's you and me, always and forever! you keep me up all night long!!!

in fact, i miss you so much right now that i will tear myself away from the computer right now just to be with you again!

room goes ka-boom

2008-02-13T13:30:40Z

spending days at a time in my room recently, i realized something...

i have 5 umbrellas in my room, and i haven't even used one of them. hahaha.

i always get drenched when i get caught in the rain cos i haven't the sense to pick up one of those little things from my room and bring it with me whenever i go out. tsk.

i better start protecting myself from unexpected elements that come my way. i mean, i have more than enough instruments to actually do so!

no more getting stuck in the rain!

ugh! better start making use of all this stuff lying around in my room, get rid of the clutter (or find something useful for it) and just... clean up!

hahaha. im sick of my room. wanna make it over/paint it or whatever! after midterms!!

post-mcr/ascend

2008-01-25T20:29:19Z

the mcr concert was pretty good, though there werent a lot of people.

but as for the ascend party shiz... apparently, i'm not ready for the whole "party scene". haha. blech. but thanks, though, issa.

when there's nothing else left to say -- i'll see you soon.

2008-01-23T06:28:16Z

so you lost your trust,
and you never should have,
no you never should have.

but don't break your back if you ever see this,
but don't answer that
in a bulletproof vest,
with the windows all closed,
i'll be doing my best,
i'll see you soon,

in a telescope lens,
and when all you want is friends,
i'll see you soon

So they came for you,
they come snapping at your heels
they come snapping at your heels
but don't break your back if you ever say this
but don't answer that
in a bulletproof vest,
with the windows all closed,
i'll be doing my best,
i'll see you soon,

in a telescope lens,
and when all you want is friends,
i'll see you soon

don't lose your trust

----
thanks.

mon semblable by stephen dunn

2008-01-17T03:20:01Z

I like things my way
every chance I get.
A limit doesn't exist

when it comes to that.
But please, don't confuse
what I say with honesty.

Isn't honesty the open yawn
the unimaginable love
more than truth?

Anonymous among strangers
I look for those
with hidden wings,

and for scars
that those who once had wings
can't hide.

Though I know it's unfair,
I reveal myself
one mask at a time.

Does this appeal to you,
such slow disclosures,
a lifetime perhaps

of almost knowing one another?
I would hope you, too,
would hold something back,

and that you'd always want
whatever unequal share
you had style enough to get.

Altruism is for those
who can't endure their desires.
There's a world

as ambiguous as a moan,
a pleasure moan
our earnest neighbors

might think a crime.
It's where we could live.
I'll say I love you,

which will lead, of course,
to disappointment,
but those words unsaid

poison every next moment.
I will try to disappoint you
better than anyone ever has.

----
in other news, i've been starving for 2 days now. stupid stomach. i hate you ameoba!!! hahahaha. well, at least i'm losing weight, i gueeess.

2008

2007-12-31T15:04:29Z

so many resolutions swimming in my mind right now, but there's one that i really plan to keep this 2008, and that's to be happy in 2008, no matter what happens. :)

08 will be great!

lessons from academy is

2007-12-28T13:05:47Z

It's been a lifetime, a lifetime we've waited for
A simple question, kid, "are you with me or not at all?"

Are we wasting time or is it wasting us?
It's been a lifetime waiting for now, now
Well, you've got to find a way
You've got to find a way before you fold

ang tanda na natin. woooohoooooo. syets. haha. no room for fickleness!

jellagoobydoo @ 2007-12-26T09:56:00

2007-12-26T01:58:17Z

i gave up on christmas and on the day of my birthday.

yeah, i'm a quitter.

the only thing i'm holding on to now is that God loves quitters, no matter what.

not a very nice birthday.

not a very nice season, 3 years straight now.

there's a canyon of a difference between 22 and 23

2007-12-25T05:17:30Z

I felt for sure last night that once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me

I'm still driving away and I'm sorry every day
I won't always love these selfish things
I won't always live not stopping

It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me
Only you

You'll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for
I'm here
I'm now
I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

Amazing still it seems
I'll be 23
I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets

You'll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here
I'm now
I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

You'll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for
I'm here
I'm now
I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

You'll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for
I'm here
I'm now
I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

yes, because i'm a fan of cliches, i listened to jimmy eat world's 23 minutes before i did turn 23. hohoho!

merry christmas folks!